Have you ever said something, which then sparked a thought in your head that clarified how you perceive things? That happened to me earlier today, and gave me a new perspective on recent events.
As I was riding the train to work, I popped a quick status update on Facebook:
Felt good to explain to Benjamin why today is a holiday, and who Dr. Martin Luther King is. Hopefully we take another small step to fully achieving his dream with each generation.
Nothing earth-shattering. But after I posted it, I noticed my choice of verb. Even though Dr. King died in 1968, my mind considered him still in the present. I used is, the present tense of the verb “to be”. And that seemed to make sense to me. You can point to a time before a person lives, when they are living, and after they have lived. When someone has died is a specific event, a certain point in time. But the verb “to be” is different, in a sense it speaks to the spirit of a person. Even after they have died, they still exist in memories, photos, letters, descendants, even Facebook posts.
The same thing happened to me recently after my sister passed away a couple months ago, shortly before Thanksgiving. At a gathering with my wife’s family, someone asked me if I had any brothers or sisters. Instinctively, my first thought was, “Yes, an older sister and a younger brother.” I paused just a second, because I wasn’t sure that was still an accurate answer. But my next thought was, “Yes, I have an older sister and a younger brother.” Even though my sister has died she was, is, and always will be my older sister.
It brings just a touch of comfort. That instead of thinking of death as an extinguishing event, to continue to think of a person in the present, in terms of who they are and a continuing impact that they can have on life.